Writing: Getting It Out

Hello, everyone. I'm back with a little update as to how the writing is going. If you think this post is going to be filled with the joys of writing and the wondrous progress I've made, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Yes, I have been writing, but I would hardly call my progress wondrous. Though, I guess I just did. Twice. Well, let's talk about my actual progress. Shall we?

I've written a few pieces since the last time I've written a post. Some I'm... well I wouldn't say "happy" with, but it's the closest approximation. So I guess I'll have to go with it. And of  course, there are some that need so much more work.

But I feel better.

Wow. That was a weird thing to write. But that doesn't negate the truth behind it. I feel better, despite how horrid I felt when I started writing, creating. It hurt at some points. I was trying to pull the words out of me, to write about experiences that I had thought I put behind me. But I hadn't really forgotten. I had simply numbed them out of existence. And going back to it, trying to write about it, is painful.

As a writer, you suspect that writing is a little bit like surgery. You take a scalpel, and you cut out the more intricate parts of yourself and lay them out for others to view. But instead of a scalpel, imagine a chainsaw, and instead of the most intricate, imagine the most raw and moving. You don't realize it until you're in the midst of it.

I found myself looking for a particular word or sound or feeling and instead found myself moved. My pen would hover millimeters above paper, and all I would want to do is cry.

I did, of course. Though I tried to wait until I was in the privacy of my own home. Or at the very least, my car.

But getting it out helps. It hurts, and it helps.

So, I'm hoping to get a little more written. I'm not yet comfortable putting any of my work out here just yet. But I'm hoping it'll be soon, lovelies. Find me on twitter here. Find me on tumblr here.  Read on. Write often. Wallow in your feelings. I'll see you next time.